i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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