quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
