is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
