Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
