ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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