Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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