I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
