after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
