You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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