We won't sleep together?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
