I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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