We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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