the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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