their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
