Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Text me some of your sweat
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
