She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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