So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
