There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
