Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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