I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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