wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
