no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize