Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
