So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
