At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
