my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
