I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
