She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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