i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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