Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
