Whod you bang
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
