Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
