I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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