we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
