Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
