That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
