Will you blow on my dice?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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