I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
