Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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