"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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