I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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