Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
How external is "for external use only"?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize