I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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