Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
