no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
