winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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