Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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