Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
