Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
