I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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