On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
