you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
