it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
