Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
