I've blown a few things in my day
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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